We’ve all known one. I have recently encountered two examples of the bitch-moves by brides. 1. The bride who thinks she’s god’s gift to wedding planning– but isn’t. The one who threatens that anything you do at her wedding she will do at yours as payback– implying you aren’t well behaved. Dude, that was college and obviously I am never planning on doing that shit ever again. It was embarassing at 20. I’m now 26 and a licensed attorney. Plus your nickname in college started with the word “blackout” and it wasn’t just for alliteration’s sake– you don’t get to suddenly act all classy and fake worried that I will ruin your wedding. Any sketchy drunk nights I had were no worse than yours. Just sayin’. In any event, now that you are the Annointed One, the oh-so-amazing wedding planner all you do is brag about all the thought you put into your wedding day. Guess not because you sat me with those god-awful dudes who assaulted my boyfriend in college and threw beers on us at a band party right before graduation. Oh you forgot? Oh yea, because you’re a terrible and inconsiderate bride except you think you’re god’s gift to the world of wedding details. Well, nice try.
2. The bride who delights devilishly in the “fake complaining” about how taxing it is to plan a wedding. Who posts asisine and borderline comments on facebook. For example: complaining about how stressful it is to do the seating chart for dinner because of all the “random singles” is a bitch move. There, I said it. You didn’t give out +1’s, now you get to pay the consequences. And calling anyone you invited to your wedding “random” implies you have so few friends that you had to really dig deep to find people to fill your dance floor. Yep, there I said it. Now go on and continue fake complaining about the stresses of wedding planning. I’m done w/ you.